Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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