My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
