you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
