You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
