it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
