wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
