I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
