Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
