new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize