i may or may not be watching the land before time
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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