is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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