why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
