Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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