your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
