Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize