Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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