just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
