You're a womanizer and a bitch.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
