all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
