His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i believe in u and ur pee
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