Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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