Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize