I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
