She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
