how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
