she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
