New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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