But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
