I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
try to milk me bitch
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