I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
