he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
