remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
This baby is an asshole
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
