She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
