my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
