She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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