I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
