Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
