its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
