I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
is it fun? or sober?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
