I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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