before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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