I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
