how hairy? two words: wookie tits
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
