Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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