Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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