i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He shit in the fireplace
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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