i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize