I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
