I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
