thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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