my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize