honey bunches of taint.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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