Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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