I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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