Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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