So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
