He is like the real live version of the state fair..
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
