I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
