I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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