it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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