My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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