giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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